Without a watch I can tell you—within about 3 minutes or so—when 1 hour has elapsed.
No really, I can.
I can do this little parlor trick because over the past 15 years of my life I have had to learn how to use 60 minutes of time in the most effective way possible.
I have learned this because, as a Pastor and a leader, one of the most valuable tools I have in my little bag of rusty tools is the one-on-one meeting with volunteers, and this usually happens (in my context at least) over lunch.
How do you use Facebook? Do you see yourself in any of these statistics? I know I do… and I’m going to make some changes.
There are times when I realize just how out of the loop I am. This weekend was one of those times. I must confess to all of you… I have not read the Hunger Games trilogy, and I have not seen the Hunger Games movie… yet. I wish I had time to see it, but I don’t. Now, I don’t actually have any complaints about this. I just turned thirty last month, I’ve come to grips with the fact that I’m just in a different season of life now I love my life, my wife and kids, and the fun/crazy pace we keep. Life with a 3 and a 4 year old never gets dull… so I’m completely thrilled to be where I’m at.
As a director of youth ministry at my church, I do feel the need to rush out and see this movie ASAP. I think I need to be in on the conversation. So much of the plot can be gleaned from the trailer and from what I’ve heard students talking about. PLUS, my mom has read the books and LOVES them. :-) So, I do feel like I understand some of the key concepts… but still, I feel that I’ve missed out on a chance to be a part of something really significant in our culture, and more specifically, in our youth culture, by not seeing it yet. Looking back, I probably should have seen in at midnight last Thursday.
Once I DO see the movie, I plan to write another post. It will be my “review” of the movie to some extent. But I will also be trying to discover what we as Christians may be able to learn from the conversations this movie has started. Like the Lord or the Rings, Star Wars, Harry Potter, the Matrix, and countless other movies before it… I imagine that this Hunger Games phenomenon will have something to say about who we are as a generation, as a culture, and what we think can save us. Or, it will be just one more big budget hollywood movie. Who knows :-)
(Be forewarned that this post is long. If you're brave enough to tackle it, you may want to stretch and hydrate first)
Jesus ≠ Religion...
Please don’t misunderstand me – I thoroughly and completely believe that Jesus is, indeed, greater than (>) religion. Much greater. So much greater, in fact, that I feel it is almost frivolous to make the comparison.
I recently read some interesting commentary about the effectiveness in our various methods of reaching the youth in our churches and helping them to have a faith that doesn’t fade as they head into their college years. One person (named Mike) wrote,
“If we truly were open to honest answers when we ask young adults about their faith we might learn that many of those who have left the Church and institutional Christianity did not leave because of a lack of reverence for God, but because they sought more depth than they were offered by the Church.”
After reading Mike’s thoughts it got me thinking… Yes, I do think many of our churches seem to have a depth issue (with our youth programs and otherwise)… but I don’t think it’s the exact issue we may at first think it is. It’s not that we need to get rid of all the more “shallow” fun and games stuff entirely. It’s not simply that students aren’t challenged and instructed by their church leaders to “go deep” with God either. On the contrary,students are often told over and over that they need to:
read their bible,
So, it’s often not a lack of options or instruction. No, this lack of depth has to do with something more. I’ll attempt to gather and communicate my thoughts about that in this blog post.
As for “going deep with God” – I hear phrases like this and immediately think of relationship … I think of how God desires nothing less than to go deep with us, to have us know Him and want Him. But we mere mortals don’t seem to start life inherently/consciously understanding our need, and the availability of joy and freedom that comes from, a deep relationship with our Creator. We dont tend to naturally find our identity in God. I think the greater question is, “How can we help our youth to get to the place where they conciously desire depth with God for themselves?” Simply instructing them to go to church, read their Bible, Pray, and to serve others doesn’t seem to help them to develop a conscious desire for deep relationship with God. Their desire for God doesn’t, and won’t exist, simply because they are told to have a desire for God. I cannot tell you to desire a baloney sandwich and just expect it to happen. Let me use an even goofier example to show what I mean.
If you know me, you know that I am an avid gamer. I love me some Mario brothers. I even like reading and writing about games from time to time. I’m an “enthusiast”. It’s a fun hobby that has been a big part of my life since I was in my elementary years. And, believe it or not, there are games today that offer depth, story, character, and context in ways that just boggle my mind! They can be SO good, so fun, so rewarding (to me anyway). I truly love to play deep and engaging video games, the same way a literature nut may love Hamlet. Yes, I am a total nerd, and I have come to accept this about myself.
Now, lets say I have a friend who loves to play Bejeweled and Tetris (casual games), but I want them to become a fan of deep/engaging video games like me.. If my method of accomplishing this is to send them straight into a new game of Skyrim – they’re not going to get it or like it, they’re not going to desire to play more of it, or understand it. (Some of you are reading this and thinking “what the heck is he talking about?”.. and that’s okay. It’s my nerdy hobby, I don’t expect everyone to get it, which is kind of my point I guess. Google “Skyrim” if you are interested to know)
My friend’s first experience of sitting down with an XOBX controller and a copy of Skyrim would probably cause them great frustration and some confusion. After just a few minutes they might throw their hands up in the air and say something like, “This isn’t connecting with me.” or “You mean to tell me you like this?!” or “I just don’t get it”. And a this point my enthusiasm and excitement over the game would seem even stranger to my friend! Chances are after just an hour or so with the game – they probably wouldn’t give Skyrim a glowing review and they’d never want to try it again. And if my gamer friends were to hear this person’s disinterest and indifference to Skyrim they may want to exclaim, “But it’s SKYRIM! How can you not appreciate and LOVE it like us?!?”. Simple: they would FIRST need to have grown a desire for games like that in the first place. There is a reason why we read Dr. Seuss to kindergarteners, not Shakespeare. Sometimes I think you need to witness and experience someone else’s desire and love for something over time before you can love it and desire it too. Strangely enough, I think the same can be said of how we learn to love Jesus. If you’re not around people who know and love Jesus, it’s gonna be really hard to ever know and love him yourself.
I desire for youth to have clarity of faith and to experience a deep relationship with God …. but how do we get people there? Again, students (and adults) often don’t instinctually desire depth with God. Their soul specifically desires it and longs for it because we are all created to know and love God AND to be known and loved by God in this way… but often the youth (and many adults in our churches) don’t know or understand this truth about themselves. So they seek to fulfill that deep desire in the wrong (less worthy) places. People want depth because their soul desires to connect with God, someone deeper and greater than themselves…. but quite often they don’t cognitively know that their true desire can only be met by knowing God, by going deep with him. Their desires often get hijacked by the enemy, by the distractions and temptations of our world. We hear countless messages in our lives telling us about what will quench our deep longing and desires in this life. How has that gone for us as a culture so far?
And so it seems: more than people desire depth of character and depth with God… they desire to be “seen” as a deep person. It becomes about image. A smart, well-educated, and well versed person. A person who has a “deepness” and a life experience they are able to reference as proof of their depth. People want to be respected and revered. They want their reputation to ooze with an edgy “different-than-you” kind of cool perspective and insight. When you ask students what they want to “be” these days, one of the top few answers is **“I want to be different”. Students want something real, something deep… and often that desire can turn into a selfish pursuit because their true and holy desire to go deep with God in their soul has been hijacked by the selfish desire “to be seen as” deep in the eyes of others.
This is partly why students often survey the offerings at our churches and youth ministries and laugh. They don’t see how a pizza party, a Christian concert, a game night, a trip to a theme park, or even various organized acts of community service ultimately add any depth and significance to their life. It may make them feel good, they may make friends, they may end up with wonderful shared experiences (and photos to prove it!), and they may even do a lot of good for God’s Kingdom in the process through the way they serve and meet the needs of others through various service projects.
All of this can be fun and edifying, but when it comes to overall lifestyle – these things don’t often help students to go deep with God all that much – if at all. Many of our models for discipleship and student ministry fall WAY short of what students need. Because we all, whether we know it or not, desire depth with God. Knowing God is the point, it’s the greatest thing, it’s everything (see Philippians 3:7-10). I desire nothing less than to hear the students I get to teach come to me or another leader and proclaim, “I want to know Christ. I’m not satisfied by just knowing about Him.” Shallow relationship with God isn’t something that works. We know this to be true because of our experiences with our shallow human relationships. They do not fulfill us – they don’t rock our core and cause us to feel, to move, to act, to love. So how could a shallow relationship with God EVER be a transformative thing? So then, HOW do we help students to get to a place where they desire a deep relationship with Christ? … to desire depth with God, to know God, and to believe it’s possible to know Him? To know that God wants nothing more than for us to know and love Him… how can this take place?
As I was thinking about this I was reminded of a scene from the movie “To Save a Life.” A teen, named Jake, who is seeking to better understand himself, God, and the loss of his friend – steps into church for the first time seeking answers and comfort. As he arrives at this youth group, desperately looking for depth of character from his peers (supposedly committed Christians) and clarity about life – but he is disappointed to find so many of the students in the room disengaged and aloof. Their apparent lack of genuine faith and concern with the “God” part of youth group really bothered Jake. And to make matters worse, his first glimpse of youth group that night was to witness the students engaging in a goofy “coke can chugging contest” where the students are challenged to down an entire can of soda – strained through the sock of one of their peers (totally gross). Soon after, his girlfriend (whom he brought with to this new church – bold move) leaves the youth group time early due to feeling uncomfortable and unwelcome. This, of course, bothers Jake… The video picks up soon after that while the youth leader is speaking to all the students:
Sure, it’s a movie clip… but I don’t think it’s too far off. Chugging soda can be fun, and youth group can be a blast. And it’s certainly fun to do many of the activities and games that youth groups engage in. And, many friendships can be forged. But like Jake asks the youth group in this clip, “What’s the point of all this if you’re not going to let this change you?”
Our weekly gatherings and our fun events (the ones that typically lack depth) will, and to a certain degree should, always be around. They need time to unwind and have some fun! Should students enjoy and desire to play games together? Yes! I LOVE a good game night, bowling night, or movie night, it’s a blast! … but if those more “shallow” things are MOST of what students tend to “get” or seek from their church – then they’ll seek their own (less worthy) version of “depth” somewhere else. One that exists to bolster the deep self-image they’re often trying emote. Maybe they seek their “depth” from a JayZ, Beatles, or Death Cab album; or a movie by Darren Aronofsky, or by some philosopher they learned about in school. Some people just dwell on the sin and pain in their life, allow it to identify them, and they believe it causes them to become a deeper more experienced person. But one thing is for certain, this current exodus of teens from our youth ministries is an indicator that students are looking elsewhere for depth and connection. Too often, they don’t find it at church. And if they’re not finding it at home either – the hope of that student ever desiring to know God and go deep with Him is slim.
So I ask: “What kind of depth can the church offer that shines a light on this issue? What can effectively draw in students in a Christ centered way?” I think it comes down to having a depth of character in the adult leaders, parents, and peers that the students get to know in the church. I recently re-listened to a message by John Ortberg called “The Main Thing”. In this sermon he says:
“This world is not likely to receive a gospel of transformation from untransformed people.”
When students come up close with people whose DAILY life and character have been transformed by Christ, then they see something unlike anything else our world has to offer. That is a depth of character and a living truth that cannot be easily ignored or cast aside. When someone is following Christ in such a way that it has transformed them.. then, perhaps… students will be able to see this love and engagement and begin to desire depth with God too… instead of some less worthy form of trendy “depth” that doesn’t satisfy the soul. Not to say that Aranofsky movies aren’t deep and interesting, and not to say that students should only be moved by things directly related to God and the Bible… but, if they begin to see EVERYTHING through the lens of truth that they receive from believing the gospel message, by the gift of the Holy Spirit, and by the cloud of witnesses that they join with as followers of Christ – I believe we’ll see students come into contact with the deepest desire of their heart – which is to go deep with God. But, it takes seeing it in others, experiencing it in scripture (often in a group setting), it takes rubbing up against transformed people, it takes parents who model Christ and are themselves in a transformation process. And all of this… it is not easy to do. But I believe this is what it takes to lead this generation of teens to the cross and to have them experience a relationship with their Creator.
Shallow is easy, shallow can be fun, shallow is less risky… but it does not make disciples on its own. I love students, I love to see them grow and to live out their convictions passionately. Seeing God at work in someone’s life takes my breath away – and that’s even more true for me when I witness it in a youth. I think many of our efforts as church leaders (including my efforts) to help connect students to God have not been what students truly need. Rich Mullins once said, “We’ve taken the blood of the cross and turned it into kool-aid…” and I think he’s right. I know I’ve been guilty of this at times for sure.
Luckily this doesn’t change that God STILL wants to know us, love us, and go deep with us. And we can’t simply lug students into the deep end of the relational pool with God either. It takes time, it takes personal mentors, it takes students having a front row seat to the transforming power of God in the life of another human (maybe even MORE than one). It takes hearing testimonies of what God has done in the lives of others. It often takes observing people who desire and love God first – which also means, it requires that we love these students with Christ’s love so they can experience it first hand. And at some point as Christ followers we ALL learn – ALL of us desire God! Whether we knew it consciously or not, the desire has always been there. It’s the deepest desire of our soul. My hope and prayer is that this soul desire becomes a very conscious desire and pursuit for the youth and families of our churches – and for our students: that their head and heart align with their soul in its desire for Christ and knowing Him more closely.
So, to “Mike” on that random comment thread – thanks for making me think today.
** I apologize for my lack of a reference on this statistic… I remember reading about a study that claimed this result.. If I find the reference, I’ll add a link here. I’m sorry
** This blog post is not my own creation… this is a passage from a sermon by John Ortberg. PLEASE check out his teaching at mppc.org sometime.
The name of this sermon is called “The Main Thing”. It claims that the main thing for churches, our ultimate mission is to “present everyone mature in Christ.” And I agree. Young & old, new Christian & veteran Christians, men, women, … everyone.
“To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory. He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ. To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me.” Colossians 1:27-29
On television over the last several years there have a number of shows about what are called makeovers…extreme makeovers. Did you ever see any of those? They can actually be surprisingly moving because they usually involve not just like new makeup jobs. They’ll take people who have features for which they have been ridiculed, felt embarrassed since they were kids, and then people go through a process. It might involve surgery, reconstruction, diet, exercise, some processes that might be fairly costly or painful to do a makeover.
These show are watched by millions of people, and it’s swamped by folks who would like to be a part of something like this. Everybody wants a makeover. I’ve seen the before and after pictures and it’s amazing how dramatic the changes are. You’ve probably seen similar shows and photos. After seeing them you can’t help but think, “I would never would have guessed that the person in the “AFTER” picture is the same human being as the one in the “BEFORE” one.”
Typically the climax of the whole makover process is when the “new you” gets presented. Everybody who loves you is gathered there…spouse, friends, relatives, workers. Then there is this unveiling. “Now I present”… and this made-over person comes out. Very often they’ll look in the mirror and they’ll just be in tears because you know what’s on the outside is what we really long for is to be remade on the inside. The friends, when they see them, they can’t believe the difference.
Now one other thing we all need to know about these shows, and you’ll know where I’m headed with this…the people who go through this process, they actually expect to be transformed. Like if they didn’t look any different at the end of the process than they did at the beginning, they would want to know what went wrong. They would want all that money and effort back. They assume transformation is normative. It is expected.
Now how about us as Christians? Just take one statement from the apostle Paul. Paul says to the church at Philippi, “Do everything without complaining or arguing.” … How is that one going for you? Should we really aim for that? What do you think? I’m serious about this. Let’s say somebody has been around a church for five years. Do you think they really should have made some progress in that department? Should we all expect if somebody is following Jesus, getting to know people who love them, learning to live in His presence, studying the Scripture, praying, should we really expect that people are progressively growing in their ability to do life without complaining or arguing, or is Paul just talking to hear himself talk?
Is it all just a bunch of religious language? Is what we’re really expecting for people is to go to church and be kind and respectable and do the obediant church thing… and hope they end up in heaven when they die? Quite often it seems that we really don’t actually expect for everyone to progressively be growing toward being presented mature in Christ. But, That’s the main thing! It boggles my mind how people can go to church and think that it’s about doing certain kinds of services or perpetuating certain kinds of traditions, or engaging in certain kinds of programs, and nobody is actually expecting that people are really genuinely becoming the people God created them to be.
The main thing for a church is not just to put on great services, not just to attract a whole bunch of people, it’s to actually help people become mature in Christ and it ain’t easy. But then Paul finds this strange thing right in the middle of all that difficulty, labor, and reality and sin and junk and habit, I find it’s not just me at work. Everywhere I turn there is God at work. I labor struggling, but not just with my power, with His energy. Over and over, I actually experience this, you will too. There He is. His energy that works, not just works, that so powerfully works in somebody like me.
The main thing is to present everyone mature in Christ, and maybe the most important two words are in Christ. See that is Paul’s signature phrase. He uses it scores of times. The reality in which we’re to be immersed, to live, the way that a fish lives in water, the way that we’re surrounded by air, the spiritual reality that is more important to us than air is to be in Christ and for Christ to be in us, to be connected to Him….
… The sermon goes on, and it’s VERY good. If you have time, you can check it out here: http://mppc.org/series/john-ortberg/main-thing
I hope to post “my own” blog entry soon, but I just wanted to share this with all of you!
I am trying to get the word on this blog…
A new post with actual content is coming soon!
Recently I saw this image online…
I must say… at first glance one may choose to re-post this to their Facebook wall or tweet it to the world in order to help us all realize how messed up our society is. It’s a powerful image… but I have a problem with it. It was unsettling… and I tried to figure out why. Why THIS image more than others like it… why did this strike a chord with me?
As a Christian I am told to mourn with those who mourn. I am called to love and serve the poor, the marginalized, the oppressed. I am commanded to consider others better than myself. I see, at the heart of this photo, the desire to raise awareness of the needs in this world. The photo succeeds in this effort… but In this photo, I also see a few problems.
The glaringly obvious one is the saddening photo on the right of the starving children, a photo that I know breaks the heart of God. It’s a photo that should affect everyone who sees it. The person who created this image is right – our society is messed up. The fact that we live in a world where we (collectively) have allowed this kind of pain and suffering to be so widespread is a tragedy. And I’m grateful for the organizations, churches, and people out there doing something about it. Organizations like UMCOR.org and rootawakening.org are examples of this.
The problem I have with this image isn’t that its core message is terribly wrong or that I think highlighting the fact that the needs in this world go largely unnoticed my many people is unimportant. My issue is with the use of Mr. Jobs’s death as a springboard for this agenda. Overall, I do not believe there is a good/fair reason to tie these two statements together (millions cry vs. no one crying). And, might I add… claiming that “No One” is crying or weeping for these starving kids is very misleading and inaccurate. To me, this is a really slanted image. Do we as a people (Christian and non-Christian) overlook the poor and oppressed and marginalized? Yes. It is a tragedy that more attention and love isn’t directed at those in this world that need it most? Yes. However, should we have a problem with millions of people mourning the loss of Steve Jobs? No.
When I asked a friend about this image – his comment reflected the very first thoughts that I had when I saw it. If I hadn’t hesitated for that brief moment, I may have just re-posted it immediately after seeing it and never thought of it again… thus, contributing to the “messed up society” we all live in where we’re inoculated to and numb to the suffering of our fellow man. The society where we often know all about the desperate needs around the world, yet often do very little to affect them or to help in any way. Ultimately, I’m glad that I didn’t re-post. And I am glad to have had the dialogue with my friend. At one point he told me (paraphrasing), “I have no problem with people mourning Mr. Jobs’s passing… by posting this I’m just noting the opportunity there is to “do good” for those who could use some good in their lives.”
Yes, I agree with the want to highlight opportunities to do good for others. Absolutely. However, this opportunity to do good is always there for us every day, is it not? Here’s where my problem with this photo lies… I find it unfortunate that in this photo the death of Mr. Jobs is trying to be used as a guilt inducing motivator – exploiting someone’s death for the benefit of an agenda (however good the agenda may be).
Part of the reason I chose to write about this today is that I have found myself strangely effected by the passing of Steve Jobs. I didn’t cry, hearing the news didn’t ruin my day, but it did make me think about a lot of things. I chose to search YouTube for a while and ended up watching/listening to his Stanford commencement speech and some old interviews and keynotes… I find him a fascinating person. Days later I still find myself reading articles about him, his life, his visionary leadership, his faults, his success, and his death. Many good conversations are being had about hope and life, technology and humanity, and other things because of his passing. One of my favorite articles to read can be found here: http://on.wsj.com/mPS7RX
On a separate note: as a youth worker, I cannot deny the enormous impact that Steve has had on the generation of students that I get to teach. Many are iPod and iPad owners. Many own a Mac computer, have iPhone, grew up watching Pixar, and many have never been to a record store. All they know is iTunes and Amazon. And then there’s my own life… it has become painfully obvious this past week how much my life and the life of my family has been impacted (for better or for worse) by Steve and his “magical” products.
If millions mourn for Steve, as Christians we are supposed to mourn along with them. And indeed, our society has some major issues. I certainly contribute to them. Today I became very aware of how easy it can be for me to see something interesting/moving like this photo, and instantly think to click a button to share it to “the world”… and realizing the chances of me ever really thinking about it deeply again are slim to none. I thank God that He slowed me down today, caused me to think, and allowed me to consider what was happening in my soul. I saw this photo and was unsettled for many reasons… but mainly, I think it is because (upon further inspection) it exposed something really messed up about me.
I was made aware of this website today, and I’m so glad that things like this exist. As teens, I know that this issue is HUGE. Bullying is traumatic and cruel, and often bullies have been bullied by other kids in the past or by adults in their lives. So, if you find yourself being bullied, or you yourself struggle with how you treat others, remember this link. And remember to pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44 NIV “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”)
Raising awareness and talking about this important topic is necessary, and I’m glad to see that this blog exists! It was created by a Junior High age student from Arizona. Yes! Junior High! She just started her freshman year of high school this past month and I really hope her blog and her movement grows! I look forward to hearing how God uses her and her church to be a light in this world.
The Facebook fan page can be found below if you want to “like” it.
So this student decided to put her passions to work and to create this site to aid people who struggle with bullying. What movement might God be asking you to begin? What motivates you and what would you like to see change in your school? Your family? Your community? Your world? Maybe you are sickened by the suffering that is taking place in Africa right now. Maybe you are moved to try to do something about he homelessness and poverty in your own town. Maybe it’s something else entirely… but maybe God has plans for that in your life. Maybe God is looking for someone JUST LIKE YOU do step up and decide to take action. You should ask Him about it.